Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 4 May 2012

image for Nigella Lawson, Stein, Bikers Head Up New Cookery Assault

Voluptuous TV cook Nigella Lawson is set to lead BBC2's new batch of cookery shows.

TV cookery's most famous décolletage is set to front Nigellisima, six half-hour programmes featuring Italian influenced dishes. Meanwhile, the whiny west country pan slinger will present Rick Stein's India and viewers can also drool over four hour-long episodes of Eat, Drink, Cook China.

Most intriguing of the new batch, however, has to be Hairy Dieters, though no details of the Hairy Bikers latest project have been released.

EIF News & Features TV Editor Lizzie Celery says: "Oh give me strength! Here we go again - the same old faces, the same old rot.

"We all know Nigella's prog will be all about her chest and if I hear Rick Stein say 'Oh why can't we do this in England...' once more I'll eat my telly!

"Four hours on chinese cooking? 240 minutes of noodles and fried rice? I can't wait!"

Shadowy vigilante organisation TV Repair Man merely commented via e-mail: "Actually, we are rather attached to the Lawson bosom. She should do more mixing and stirring - the wobbling effect is mesmerising and strangely relaxing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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