Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 4 May 2012

image for American Idol Sends Skylar "The Country Girl" Laine Back To Mississippi
Skylar autographed one of her cowgirl boots and gave it to American Idol mentor Jimmy "The Cap" Iovine.

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol's Top Five are now the Top Four after 18-year-old country gal Skylar Laine found herself in the Bottom 2 and then out the door.

After performing a rousing rendition of Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son" and The Captain and Tennille's "Muskrat Love" Skylar received praise from the three American Idol judges.

Steven "Lips" Tyler said that Skylar reminded him of a young Reba McEntire but only a lot shorter, a whole lot louder, and a bit chunkier.

Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez said that she definitely showed that she could certainly sing in a barn and keep the chickens from laying eggs.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up my good friend Toby "Farm Boy" Keith and asked him what Jennifer meant by that statement. Toby told me that he had no idea in hell what the little darlin' was trying to say with her remark.]

Randy "The Dawg" Jackson said "Yo, yo, yo, lissen up dude. Dat performance right der wuz da bomb dude. I mean gosh, your rendition wuz so country dat I could pert near smell da cow pasture, if ya know what I'm sayin' dude ya hear?"

When Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest announced that Hollie "Little Dolly" Cavanaugh would be the one that would be staying in the competition, Skylar looked at Seacrest and softly asked, "Ryan, are you sure?"

He smiled as he asked Hollie to take a seat with the rest of the survivors. He then asked Skylar to sing her final song.

At first Skylar said that she did not really feel like singing seeing as how she had just been booted off the show. She let Ryan know that singing was really the last thing she wanted to do at the moment.

Seacrest reminded her about her contract which states that all eliminated contestants will sing one final song no matter if they want to or not.

So Skylar decided to sing the theme song from the motion picture Titanic.

Woody The Wonder Woodchuck picked Skylar to be eliminated and so his record is now 6-2.

ARTICLE FOOTNOTE: Next week the remaining four contestants will be singing songs from the Great Depression of the 1930s.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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