Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 3 May 2012

image for Maggie May Arrested For Underage Sex, Various Other Crimes
Maggie May Blows A Kiss After Her Arrest

New York City, NY-- The legendary Maggie May was arrested today for having underage sex with teen boys, along with a host of other offenses. The elderly spinster was led out of her tony West Side townhouse in handcuffs. Bail was set at $1 million.

NYPD Detective Ron Wood made the arrest, after listening to an old song on the radio.

"She's a real bitch." said the detective. "And she's been doing this for decades. She needs to pay for her crimes." he said.

The detective said Miss May would befriend high-school aged boys, usually just before the new school year started in September.

"All they needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand. But she turned into a lover, and mother what a lover--she wore them out." he sang.

Besides the various sex charges, Miss May was charged with wrecking a bed, and kicking someone in the head.

Rock star Rod Stewart heard about the arrest, and was eager to make a statement to the press.

"I have been warning about this woman for over 40 years! Why did it take so long for this to happen. Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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