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Friday, 4 May 2012

image for Elton John To Pilot Rocket To Mars
Mars Ain't The Kind Of Place To Raise Your Kid

London, England-- Rock star Elton John is set to become a real life rocket man later this year when he zooms off to Mars. The legendary performer has teamed up with gazillionaire Richard Branson for the historic flight. Sir Elton is expected to blast off at 9:00 AM on July 4th.

The trip to Mars is expected to take 247 days. It could be shorter, but Sir Elton only plans to work five days a week on the venture. It's just his job.

The rock star will travel alone, and plans to sing most of the journey, especially his hit song from 1974--Rocket Man. Only a few words and pronouns need to be changed by the singer to reflect his sexuality.

The singer will also leave behind his son Levon. The little boy was born a pauper to a pawn on Christmas Day 2010.

"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kid. In fact, it's cold as hell. And there's no one there to raise them, if you did." he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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