Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 May 2012

image for A Very Angry Mel Gibson States That The Rumor About Him and Susan Boyle Is Absolutely False
Mel Gibson has stated that he only dates women who are in their 30s or younger. (Photo by FuFi Fondue).

BEVERLY HILLS - Mel Gibson was getting his hair cut at FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon when he was asked about the rumor regarding him and Susan Boyle who allegedly had been seen camping together at Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming.

Gibson turned red and instantly asked Fondue where in the hell he had heard such a preposterous thing.

Fondue told the Aussie actor that he had gotten the rumor first hand from Paris Hilton less than 24 hours ago.

Gibson cleared his throat and remarked that Paris is nothing but a no good, talentless, [EXPLETIVE DELETED] and a spoiled little rich [EXPLETIVE DELETED].

FuFi covered both of his ears and asked Gibson to please refrain from using such filthy, vulgar, gutter language in his presence and in the presense of his fellow hair stylists and their customers.

Gibson, who is known as Mel "From Hell" yelled out that he has spent thousands of dollars at the salon and he will curse, cuss, and use the vilest, nastiest language in existence.

Fondue grabbed his purse and ran towards the back of the salon where his office is located. His twin sister FiFi Fondue, who is the salon manager, had heard the commotion and asked Gibson to settle down.

He laughed and asked who was going to make him. Miss Fondue pointed to a photo on the wall that proclaimed that she was an expert at karate, judo, jujitsu, kung fu, and knife throwing.

Gibson took off his hair cape and hollered out for the entire salon to hear, that he did not have any type of relations with Susan Boyle and that furthermore he only dates women who are in their 30s or younger.

Susan Boyle is 51-years-old so that definitely puts her way over the 30 year age limit that Gibson was referring to.

CREDITS: Thanks to FiFi Fondue, manager of The Haven of Hair Salon for the $200 gift certificate. Thanks to Mel Gibson for the autograph. And thanks to the lovely Millie Winnpicker of Google News for graciously providing the information on Susan Boyle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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