Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 1 May 2012

image for Rumors of A Kobe Bryant - Elin Nordegren Sex Tape Surface
Tiger Woods favorite pet, a rescue dog named "Putter."

LOS ANGELES - Tiger Woods ex-wife Elin Nordegren was reportedly spotted at The Santa Monica Pier wearing a Los Angeles Lakers shirt and a pair of fuchsia colored shorts shorts and according to several tourists Elin never looked prettier, sexier, or richer.

The Swedish beauty divorced her philandering husband after learning that he had a gallery of gals. Nordegren did very well for herself as she walked away from the skirt-chasing brutha with $342 million.

Elin returned to her native Sweden with her children where she quickly became the richest woman in the country. She reportedly purchased the famous Viking Moon Castle and plans to turn it into a bed and breakfast for Europe's wealthiest and most influential citizens.

The former Mrs. Tiger Woods has always maintained a very low-profile mystique about her. Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo stated that he has known Nordegren for three years, five months, and two weeks, and there has never been even the slightest hint of any scandal on her part.

San Guacamole noted that the supermarket tabloid Just Saying reported in its latest issue that they received a sex tape which allegedly shows Elin Nordegren and Kobe Bryant doing the mattress mambo at an out-of-the-way motel in Hacienda Heights.

Nordegren was shown a copy of the sex tape and she immediately stated that the woman in the video is not her. She pointed out that the female in the video has a tattoo of a tumbleweed on her left upper thigh and she (E.N.) does not have any tattoos on either one of her thighs.

San Guacamole tried to reach Kobe Bryant to get a comment from him but his answering machine said that he was in the shower and could not come to the phone.

In a Non-Related Story. Pee Wee Herman says that he is seriously considering running against Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer. Pee Wee is 59, but he looks 39. Brewer is 67, but she looks 87.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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