Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 26 April 2012

image for X-Factor's Simon Cowell Very Disappointed That American Idol Has Just Given Ryan Seacrest A $30 Million Contract Extension
Ryan Seacrest says he is quite satisfied with his $30 million two-year contract extension.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The word out of LaLaLand is that reality show mogul Simon Cowell is absolutely devastated that Ryan Seacrest will not be signing on to be the new X-Factor host like he had hoped.

Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest has just been given an amazing contract extension by the executives of American Idol which will pay the Georgia native $30 million for two years.

Cowell was reached at his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa La T-Shirt by Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld who verified the Seacrest news.

The native of England, who is known as "The Count of Criticism," was hoping to woo Ryan away from American Idol in hopes of having X-Factor knock AI off the top music reality show spot.

"Simple" Simon as he was affectionately called by Paula Abdul, whom he fired in January, informed Miss Wine that he had made Seacrest an offer of $14.5 million to replace fired X-Factor host Steve Jones.

He added that he had even told Seacrest that he would also throw in his fantastic 2011 Veyron Bugatti which is valued at $1 million.

Seacrest did thank Cowell but explained that he was very happy with his 2012 Lamborghini Murcielago which he had picked out with the help of his stunning blonde girlfriend Julianne Hough, Derek's younger sister.

Sangria Wine noted that Simon "The Baron of Bitterness" Cowell expressed to her that he had hoped to fill the judges position vacated when he fired Nicole "Teardrops" Scherzinger with Justin Bieber.

But Simon commented that Bieber had turned down the offer because he wanted to spend more time sunbathing with his girlfriend Selena Gomez down on the beautiful beaches of Cabo San Lucas, Cancun, and Cozumel, Mexico.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I just got off the phone with Larry King and he related to me that Simon Cowell has just offered Joan Rivers a yearly salary of $15 million if she will take the vacant American Idol judges position.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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