Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 22 April 2012

image for Tulisa Contostavlos Offered Twenty Quid Plus A Share In The Profits To Make Another XXX Rated Video
Ginslinger Promises The Greatest Golden Turkey Ever

Skoob Entertainment News's head honcho, Buffty Ginslinger, has announced that he has offered X-Factor judge and N-Dubz babe, Tulisa Contostavlos twenty quid in cash and a share in the profits if she'll get her kit off again and make another steamy adult video.

Like the one that leaked out on the internet a few days ago, except that this time Ginslinger relates that it will all be consensual, above board, and that she'll get paid for it.

Unlike the last time.

Speaking from the public bar of a hostelry on the Whitechapel Road, a slightly tipsy Buffty Ginslinger - accompanied by three Russian prostitutes - announced that he had put the offer on the table in order to raise funds for his 'not yet off the ground' project of a biopic of New Cross Gate wrestling legend, Mick McManus, which will probably feature Daniel Craig as Mick McManus, and Stephen Fry as Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo.

With a cameo role for Oscar winner Colin Firth, who will be playing legendary wrestling TV commentator, Kent Walton. Although he doesn't know it yet.

Ginslinger explained:

"I've wanted to tell the Mick McManus story for years. It's like an itch that I can't quite scratch. Admittedly, I did drop the standard a little bit a couple of years ago, when Peter Andre and Alex Reid were pencilled in to play Mick McManus and Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo, with Jordan contracted to flop her baps out on screen in glorious 3D, but it all fell through. The funding just isn't out there any more. But if I can get Tulisa to do a proper bluey, a popular girl like her will undoubtedly rake in the cash. Especially if she gets really jiggy with it. Ker-ching! That's me finance sorted for me Mick McManus biopic. Simples innit! I'll see the girl right though - I reckon twenty quid up front and a two percent share of the profits ought to sort it."

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 4?

9 2 15 20

Go to top