Written by Stevey G.
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Friday, 20 April 2012

image for Simon Cowell's obsession with Cheryl Cole goes too far.
Max Clifford prepares for a business meeting with Cowell.

TV mogul Simon Cowell is reported to be 'devastated' concerning continuing revelations leaked from his unofficial autobiography which is due to be released next month.

According to sources, pint-sized, ego-maniac Cowell had no idea as to the content of Tom Bowyer's book and is reeling from the adverse publicity that it has provoked.

In his book, Bowyer relates how Cowell became so obsessed with his fellow X-Factor judge and protoge, Cheryl Cole, that he became tormented with the idea that she would get back with her, then estranged husband, Ashley Cole.

In desperation he hired a number of prostitutes to follow and seduce the premiership footballer and then rushed to comfort Cheryl when the stories of her husband's infidelities hit the tabloids.

'It was not one of his better ideas' states Max Clifford, Cowell's publicist. ' But the guy was obsessed and desperate'.

According to Clifford things got so bad that Cowell would only agree to a meeting with him if he agreed to dress up as Cheryl Cole and conduct the meeting in a Geordie accent.

'It was bizarre' says Clifford, 'I had to attend the interview wearing a wig, dressed in a tight top, short skirt and high heels. All through the meeting Simon had one hand up my skirt and the other in his pocket. I've known the guy for years, I like him but that was extremely uncomfortable!'

Cowell was unfortunately unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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