Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 18 April 2012

image for The Reason Dancing With The Stars' Gavin DeGraw Was Eliminated
A pair of headphones that Gavin DeGraw gave to Len Goodman. (Photo courtesy of Cheryl "Little Carrie Ann" Burke).

HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that the three judges on Dancing With The Stars have basically no sense of humor to speak of.

Len Goodman is from England and the old geezer is known as "The Grouchy Grouch." Goodman is from the old school and he absolutely despises to see the contestants and their partners try to inject any type of modern day dance moves into the structured rumbas, sambas, Argentine tangos, cha cha cha's, and Viennese waltzes.

It is rumored that Len is so old fashioned that he still refuses to use a cell phone and is forever stopping at corner convenience stores to make phone calls.

The Italian judge Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli is openly infatuated with the likes of Maksin "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" Chmerkovskiy, William "Brad Pitt" Levy, Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough, and Mark "The Shark" Ballas.

Carrie Ann Inaba, the Filipino judge is pretty much infatuated with the same dancers as Tonioli is, but that's fine since, Inaba is after all a woman!

Co-Host Tom Bergeron is just glad to have a job where he doesn't have to see dozens and dozens of home videos of little kids accidentally hitting their big brothers, uncles, dads, or grandfathers in the family jewels.

And Bergeron's fellow co-host Brooke Burke Charvet AKA "Skinny Legs" is simply thrilled to get out of the house and away from her eight kids, husband, the dogs, the cats, and the ornery pet ostrich "Palin."

This week Jaleel "Urkel" White and his partner Kym "Aussie Lass" Johnson found themselves in the Bottom 2 along with Gavin "The Hat" DeGraw and his partner Karina "Vodka" Smirnoff.

Jaleel reportedly had an argument with Kym after she accidentally kicked him on his left one during one of the rehearsals. The word got out and a lot of viewers did not like the fact that he referred to Johnson as a kangaroo kisser.

Meanwhile Gavin has a strange sense of humor that can best be classified as uniquely dry. He mumbles off funny lines that at times are hard to understand.

Len Goodman was overheard whispering to Carrie Ann that it is a good thing that DeGraw can sing because he would starve if he had to dance for a living.

Next week the 8 remaining dance couples will be dancing to songs that were popular during the depression era.

Injury Update: Melissa "Prairie Girl" Gilbert is still a little light headed after getting a concussion when she jumped off the drum set during last week's live show. Maria "Giggles" Menounos has two broken ribs and a broken foot bone that she received when she angrily kicked Derek Hough. William "Brad Pitt" Levy has a torn ligament. Gladys "Mama Pip" Knight is reporting hot flashes, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy has a slight case of jock itch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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