Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 14 April 2012

image for Bruno Mars To Star With Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez In The Science Fiction Musical, "Doo-Wops & Hooligans"
Mars has stated that pineapple burgers are his favorite all time food. (Photo courtesy of Rosanne Barr).

HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for rhythm and blues reggae singer Bruno Mars has just announced that the Honolulu native has just signed to appear in a motion picture.

The science fiction musical titled Doo-Wops & Hooligans will also star popular female singers Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez.

The Lions Face Film will be directed by noted Italian director Bandini Borrapelli who recently won a Green Grass Globe Award for last year's hit movie A Week In Paradise - The Pippa Middleton-Ron Jeremy Story which starred the Twilight Saga's Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

Bruno, whose real name is Peter Gene Hernandez, recently spoke about his upcoming movie with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight at a Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Haven in Hacienda Heights.

He revealed that he was a bit nervous since this will be his first starring role in a motion picture and he doesn't want to mess up like Gary Busey did in last year's movie The Story of Sasquatch - Separating Fact From Fiction.

The 26-year-old Mars told Miss Swizzle that Mr. Borrapelli assured him that he would do great just as long as he listens to his direction and follows every thing he says to the letter and doesn't ask any silly Kellie Pickler-like questions.

Mars was asked how he came about his very unusual first name. He smiled and said that his parents and everyone in the Mars family are fantastically devoted wrestling fans and that he was named after the famous wrestler Bruno Sammartino.

He added that his cousin King Kong Mars was named after the popular wrestler King Kong Bundy and that his cousin Hulk Mars was named after Hulk Herrera a family friend who used to wrestle in Hawaii under the name of Honolulu Hulk Hogan.

Mars laughed as he said that after his second wrestling match Honolulu Hulk Hogan had to change his name after he was threatened with a $7.4 million professional name infringement lawsuit by the real Hulk Hogan, Terry Bollea.

When asked what Honolulu Hulk Hogan changed his name to, Bruno giggled as he said The Hateful Hawaiian Volcano Lava Eater.

Miss Swizzle asked Bruno to tell her a little bit about his movie Doo-Wops & Hooligans. Mars said that the name is taken from his first album and that he will be singing 7 of the 10 songs on the movie soundtrack.

He disclosed that the other three songs will be sung by Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz, who were his opening act on last year's Bruno Mars Hawaiian Hula Hooping Traveling Carnival and Concert Tour.

Bruno smiled as he confided to Miss Swizzle that he is really looking forward to the frolicking beach swimsuit scene with the fantastically talented and attractive Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez.

FOOTNOTE: The movie will be filmed on location in Cleveland, Ohio, which bears a strikingly uncanny resemblance to downtown Manhattan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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