NEW YORK CITY - After enduring an emotional roller coaster ride with Angelina Jolie which spanned 6 years, Brad Pitt has finally decided to present the mother of six with an engagement ring.
The ring which was FedExed to America from the famed King of Diamonds Diamond Mine in South Africa is one of the most expensive diamond rings east of the Mississippi River.
A spokesperson for Pitt stated that Brad figured that with Jolie's personality changing every two weeks it was time to become engaged and put an end to her horrible bouts of insecurity, inferiority, and extremely low self-esteem, self-worth, and self-service.
When Angelina was reached and asked to make a comment she was so thrilled and so excited that all she could say was "IIIII ammmmm soooo goshhhh darnnnn haaaaaaaappy."
She managed to compose herself and said that she will be getting a brand new tattoo as soon as possible. When asked what the tattoo will say, she grinned and replied that it will read "Property of Brad Pitt."
She was asked where on her body the tattoo is being placed and she just smiled and answered that it will be in a very intimate, personal, and sexy place.
When the six Pitt-Jolie kids were told of the engagement they all started jumping up and down like Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman's 14 kids, and Kate "The Great" Gosselin's 8 kids.
The P-J kids started hollering, screaming, and yelling things like "Oh goody, now we will be legally legal" and "Okay now we can be a normal family just like the kids on the Brady Bunch except that our dad isn't gay.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ryan Seacrest reported from Tinsel Town that when Brad's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston heard the news she reportedly uttered several x-rated expletives and ended up by saying, "Dammit all!"]