Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 7 April 2012

image for The Dorking Review To Spawn A Sequel? You're Having A Turkish!
The Original Dorking Review - Carnage And Blood Lust Run Amok. Not A Bad Result For A Rainy Tuesday Morning.

Rumours currently circulating around the offices of the Spoof website in Lancaster, suggest that a number of the site's contributors are planning on releasing a sequel to the massively unpopular, very nearly mediocre selling paperback book, 'The Dorking Review'

To be imaginatively titled: 'The Dorking Review 2'

If the rumours turn out to be true, the likely outcome is that there will be wholesale bloodshed all over the internet, which - given the worst possible scenario - could eventually result in the extinction of the human race.

The initial release of the original volume was dogged by false and malevolent reviews on some websites, three nights of rioting in Indonesia, the tearing out of hair in at least three US states, an attempted suicide in Burnley, 'pigeon rage' in the leafy London suburb of Chiswick, and outbreaks of viagra related OAP terrorism in the once genteel English seaside resort of Worthing.

Despite the fact that the project remains in the embryonic stage, critics have already expressed outrage that it is even being considered, their main argument being that the first book was terribly unfunny, disjointed, slightly manic, and that they hadn't been asked to be included as contributors.

The writers and the Editor concede that the critics may have a point to a degree, but counter that by saying that acts such as self immolation, howling at the moon like a rabid wolf, hitting oneself in the face repeatedly with a shovel, stalking, inserting red hot needles into ones genitals and having great big wooden chips surgically attached to one's shoulders hardly constitutes legitimate protest.

To further compound an altogether nutty situation, Mark Lowton, the Oddfather of the Spoof, has announced that he is to release an e-book to celebrate ten years of The Spoof, but has promised in principle at least to support 'The Dorking Review 2': "Providing it isn't as crap as the first one."

In return, contributors to 'The Dorking Review 2' have promised not to pan Mark's foray into the world of e-publishing, because they'll probably end up getting banned from The Spoof and end up talking to themselves in cyberspace.

As most ex-spoofers tend to do as they inevitably become tapped out.

This new book release will certainly be one to look forward to - not because it's any great shakes, merely because it promises a fresh round of apocalyptic aftershocks.

More as we don't get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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