LONDON - Nigel Winston Buckingshire, the director of the famed Ye Olde Merry Rehab Clinic of Upper Tooting, has been informed about a situation that needs his immediate attention.
According to Neville Twickenbuck of Tickety Boo News, a woman named Samantha Brick, 41, has been making some astounding claims that have gone out on the Internet to over 147 countries.
It appears that Ms. Brick has stated that she is very pretty and that at times her beauty causes women to become extremely jealous of her.
The blonde woman stated that she knows that she is stunningly beautiful because every time she goes to the store strange men buy her all kinds of things from the most expensive wines from Italy, to the most expensive vodka from Russia, and the finest Saki from Japan.
She grinned and divulged that twice last week two very wealthy gentleman, one a banker from Battersea and the other a famous rugby player from Fitzrovia, each bought her a case of Corona Light Beer which was imported from Mexico.
Ms. Brick, who is married, says that she has not had to open a door since 1994. She confessed that just since January 1, of this year she has had a total of 27,903 marriage proposals including one from Simon Cowell; one from Ashley Cole; and one from Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez' ex-husband.
Brick comments that her beauty is unrivaled and that she has received emails, text messages, and letters from famous women such as Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley, Angelina Jolie, and Miss Scotland asking her to please reveal her beauty secrets.
And Ms. Brick has replied to each one that her astounding beauty is natural and no woman could ever match it no matter how much Revlon, CoverGirl, or Maybelline makeup she could possibly apply.
Neville Twickenbuck of Tickety Boo News stated that several representatives from Ye Merry Olde Rehab Clinic will be contacting Samantha Brick very soon.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: It is my understanding that Nigel Winston Buckingshire, director of Ye Merry Olde Rehab Clinic in Upper Tooting already has a nice 8 by 10 padded room ready for the tremendously conceited and super delusional woman whose ego is the size of Denmark.]