Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 2 April 2012

image for Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Voluptuous Vajazzled Vampires of Vienna"
Sandra Bullock (partially shown in photo) will be appearing as Linda Kozlowski's sister Savannah Charlton-Dundee.

HOLLYWOOD - It has been three years since Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski last reprised their roles of Crocodile Dundee and his girlfriend of 26 years Sue Charlton in the motion picture Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years.

Hogan recently spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at an Australian Food-On-Wheels truck that was parked in West Hollywood. Hogan introduced de Gallo to one of his favorite Aussie foods, a Kangaroo Pocket Sandwich.

De Gallo informed the actor from down under that he'd eaten all kinds of burgers, tacos, pizzas, and sandwiches in his day, but never a Kangaroo Pocket Sandwich.

The 3T reporter confessed that once you get past the realization that you are actually eating an animal's pocket the taste is wonderful and not unlike the taste of a Porterhouse Steak from The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse in Beverly Hills.

De Gallo asked Hogan about his new movie. Hogan put down his glass of Foster's Beer and said that he and his wife (Linda) decided to go ahead and film the fifth installment of the Crocodile Dundee series.

He grinned as he confided to de Gallo that he and the little missus got to where they really needed the money due to the couple having spent tons of it traveling all over the world, staying at expensive hotels, and buying thousands and thousands of $20 scratch off tickets.

De Gallo asked if he and Linda had ever won any money on the scratch offs?

"Not a blimey, blithering, blooming, bloody dime" came the reply from Hogan.

Hogan took two rather large sips from his Fosters and said, "Ya know Pico me mate, iffin me and Miss Lindy 'ad us a dime for ev'ry scratch off dat we've spent on those bloody lottery tickets; we'd probably 'ave us aboot 800,000 dimes, the missus and I would, we would."

De Gallo just shook his head as he partook of some Fried Diet Dingo-Flavored Cheese Bits which Hogan said are his wifey's favorite snack food.

Hogan was then asked about his upcoming movie, the fourth sequel to his tremendous hit of 1986, Crocodile Dundee.

He told de Gallo that the new movie is titled Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Voluptuous Vajazzled Vampires of Vienna. He giggled and said that it is going to be filmed in Van Nuys, California since Van Nuys looks a lot like Vienna except for the sausage smell.

Hogan proudly stated that the film will also co-star Matthew McConaughey as his younger brother "Alligator" Albert Dundee. He then got a great big smile on his face and added that Sandra Bullock will also be appearing as Sue Charlton's sister Savannah Charlton-Dundee, Albert's brand new bride of seven months.

He then got an even bigger smile on his face as he stated that Brooklyn Decker, Scarlett Johansson, and Edyta Sliwinska will be starring as the three main voluptuous vajazzled vampires of Vienna.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I spoke with the movie's director Kittles McLeavenworth and he informed me that the film will have an R rating due to lots of explicit expletives, lots of intimate suggestiveness, several scenes of quasi-nudity, and about half a dozen instances of political incorrectness.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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