DETROIT - The honorable Flodell McJefferson, mayor of the city of Detroit just received a fantastic text message.
Mayor Mack J, as the people of MoTown refer to him, spoke at a news conference and happily announced that the text message he had received from the ravishingly beautiful Rihanna stated that she had agreed to perform for the American troops stationed in Detroit.
The mayor remarked that he had been tossing around the idea with the Caribbean beauty since around Valentine's Day. He noted that she has been extremely busy on her concert tour as well as promoting her new line of perfume named A Sensuously Sexy Scent of Ri.
Rihanna recently told YoDelle Denzel St. Bling with Afro Sheen Magazine that A Sensuously Scent of Ri is now available in 48 states.
When asked about the other two states, she grinned and explained that Alaska and Arizona had both decided against allowing her perfume to be carried in their states.
Rihanna was a little upset about it at first but she was glad to add that California and New York had both informed her that they would gladly take all of the perfume bottles that were intended for the two Red States.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I contacted Larry King and asked him about this unusual refusal. He laughed and said that it was about what he expected from the home states of Sarah "Reindeer Ovaries" Palin and Jan "The Man" Brewer.]
Mayor McJefferson stated that Rihanna will be appearing at The Carburetor Coliseum and her concert will be attended solely by members of the United States armed forces.
Rihanna added that Louisiana comedian Zydeco Dupree will be her opening act.
In other non-related news. Rush Limbaugh recently told Ellen DeGeneres that he won and everyone has forgotten all about his hateful remarks. He pointed out that she and everyone else can now look forward to the next way out remark that will come springing forth from his grandiose GOP lips; lips, which he said, have never, ever spoken a single untruth.