Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 29 March 2012

image for Nadya Suleman AKA "OctoMom" Begs Simon Cowell To Let Her Take Nicole Scherzinger's Place On X-Factor
A picture of "Jumpy Boy" a kangaroo that was given to the Suleman kids by Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.

LA HABRA, California - Nadya Suleman, better known as "OctoMom" has found herself in some serious financial trouble.

The single mother of 14, including octuplets, cannot afford to continue living in her present home. The house is valued at $565,000 and Suleman receives a monthly check from the government for $976.

Redwood Fingerboo of The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle recently interviewed her in her La Habra home. He learned that she receives monthly allotments of free cheese, free macaroni, free tuna fish, and free M&Ms.

Ms. Suleman added that the thing that helps her out a lot is the amount of food stamps she receives which is $11,783 a month.

She disclosed that she cannot afford a dog or cat for her kids but is thrilled that Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban gave her kids a pet kangaroo that the kids named "Jumpy Boy."

Nadya's next door neighbor Ling Ling Wing, who is 94, says that at least three times a week she sees the older Suleman kids jump her wooden privacy fence and go to her garden and make off with carrots, tomatoes, okra, squash, potatoes, watermelons, and dog food for "Jumpy Boy."

Suleman says that she has been having trouble getting a job due to her uvula infection which she says flares up at least four times a week.

She says she wants to make an appointment with an ear, nose, and throat specialist but she has no insurance.

Suleman's neighbor Mrs. Wing has suggested that she contact the editor of PlayGuy Magazine about appearing in a nude layout. Nadya responded by saying that she has contacted the editor but that she has not heard back.

"OctoMom" did mention to Mr. Fingerboo with 4C that she was able to acquire Simon Cowell's personal cell phone number from a former Hollywood Police Department employee.

She commented that she called up Mr. Cowell and begged him to please let her take Nicole Scherzinger's vacant judges position.

Suleman stressed to Cowell that she knows the words to over 600 songs including 17 songs by the Beatles. She emphasized to Cowell that he does not have to pay her the $15 million he was paying Nicole and that she will gladly settle for 6 or 7 million dollars.

Simon reportedly wished her well and remarked that he hopes that she can find an extremely rich old codger.

April 2, is National Emoticon Day, except in Arkansas where no one ever uses emoticons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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