Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 23 March 2012

image for Kardashian Flour Bombing Another Publicity Stunt
One massive flour bomb please? Thank you.

If it's been more than a day without Kim Kardashian in the headlines, it must be time for another publicity stunt. The actress/model/whateveryoucallher was on a fabricated red carpet event for a European launch of her new perfume, when a female attendee bombed Kardashian with a sack of flour.

"And the headlines followed", comments entertainment media watchdog, William Westin. "That girl has a knack for keeping her name in the press, and her self promoting perfume launch alone wasn't going to do it".

There was suspicion from the start as the would-be glutin assassin approached Kardashian unopposed and managed to dump an entire ten kilo bag of flour on her head. One cameraman reported hearing Ms. Kardashian say, "At least it was unbleached, organic and stone ground".

"The bigger headline of the day should have been that Kim can tell the difference between types of flour, which is amazing actually", says Westin. "Not that it's a skill that you could make a career out of, but then again at least it's a real skill".

The identity of the attacking bread maker and her connection to the Kardashian family is still unknown, but Kardashian followers expect another incident soon. "Yeah, this will play out in about a 24 hour news cycle", says Westin, "then she will need some new event to keep things popping".

In a related story there was significant insider speculation that Kim would be chosen for the next season of Dancing with the Stars. "A career crusher to be sure", says Westin, "Besides, the girl is too short and can't dance. With her mad flour skills, maybe she should be a judge on Cupcake Wars".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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