Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 March 2012

image for Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Star In The Movie Musical "The Etch A Sketch Chronicles"
Justin and Selena will be backed on the movies theme song by Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. (Photo by Demi Lovato).

LOS ANGELES - It has just been announced to the Hollywood entertainment media that Sky Castle Pictures in association with Lions Face Films will soon begin production on the Durango Grundyweather musical The Etch A Sketch Chronicles.

Mr. Grundyweather recently met with Pomona Vox of Silver Screen Showcase Magazine and informed her that the film will star Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez as two friends who travel from their hometown of Wichita, Kansas to Tinsel Town seeking a recording contract.

Bieber will portray Dusty Masonmix and Gomez will star as Polka Velvetgarden, two teens who grew up living next door to each other and who are now boyfriend and girlfriend.

Also starring in the movie will be Johnny Depp, who will play Selena's father Mendocino "Shot Glass" Velvetgarden, a saddlemaker who brags that he drinks a bottle of Johnny Walker Red every day.

Gary Busey will appear in the role of Justin's grandfather Shackleford "Boom-Boom" Herringstick, a 59-year-old former Green Beret who fought in Vietnam and reportedly single handedly captured 27 Viet Cong on Valentine's day in 1972 armed only with a refurbished bazooka and a butter knife.

Justin and Selena will be writing all of the music for the film. Two of the songs that the couple has already finished are "I Don't Really Mind The El Lay Earthquakes At All - It's The Incessant Car Honking That I Hate" and "The Ballad of The Etch A Sketch Chronicles."

Justin stated that he and Selena will be singing the movie's theme song and that they will be backed on that song by Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz.

The idea for the movies title came from the fact that the film's writer Henrietta Krankenfelter divulged that she came from a very poor Mississippi family and that her first really neat Christmas present was an Etch A Sketch that 'Santa Claus' brought her when she was 13.

SIDENOTE: Justin and Selena have both stated that they plan to each donate 5 percent of their movie salary to help remodel The Gary Busey Home For The Confused.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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