It's official. Foreign Secretary William Hague has been reclassified as a giant dwarf by the British Medical Association. The chairman of the association Dr Hermann Clitterman made the announcement last night down at the pub.
Hagues's head is quite unique not only because of the differential between body size. The skull is actually much thicker than usual and therefore much heavier placing additional strain on the spinal collumn which will eventually result in severe constipation during later years.
Apparently the condition will not affect his already diminished mental capability or his inborn propensity to kick the shit out of developing countries to prove his doubtful superiority.
His sidekick and leader has also been closely monitored and diagnosed as having a severe infection of Butcher Blair Syndrome, hence his disposition to interfere in the running of middle east dictorships. David's pathological hatred of the TV station Russia Today is also causing concern in Britain. Apparently the station actually tells the truth about the world political scene, something that cannot betolerated in our modern British democracy.
The British system of media control and discrete indoctrination is under threat from R. T. and moves are afoot to have the station outlawed. Heavy fines will be imposed on anyone who tunes in to R.T. to discourage viewing and in the short term to increase government revenue. Pensioners will be fined double because the doddery old sod's are always an easy target with no means of fighting back.