Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 March 2012

image for American Idol's Erika Van Pelt Goes From Being A Blonde To A Brunette And Ends Up Getting Sent Home
A brand new $7,000 Shure Microphone that Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry gave to Steven Tyler for his 64th birthday.

HOLLYWOOD - This week's edition of American Idol saw two males and one female in the dreaded Bottom 3.

Heejun "The Class Clown" Han and Deandre "The Hair" Brackensick were the two guys and Erika "The Makeover" Van Pelt was the lone female.

Deandre is still on cloud nine since he found out that he is the favorite contestant of the entire "First Family." President Obama and the "First Mama" Michelle last week unofficially voted for Brackensick a combined total of 47 times.

Mrs. Obama reportedly remarked to her secret service agent Pompei Talltimber that her and Barry (her husband) would have voted even more times but they had to get the girls to bed since it was a school night.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: According to Larry King, the Obama's have asked the White House staff to vote for Deandre Brackensick. Press Secretary Cal Colfax voted for Deandre 9 times. White House maid Novela Largartos voted for the young man from South Carolina 16 times and Air Force One Pilot General Norwood W. Labriola, Jr. stated that he voted for Brackensick 37 times.]

During the results show a singer named Lana Del Rey sang. And as Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest pointed out after the show he was standing very close to her and he swears that he was not able to make out even 5 of the words she sang.

Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez stated that Del Rey should have been in the Bottom 3. Randy "The Dawg" Jackson asked Steven "Lips" Tyler who the heck the young lady was and why was she singing so low that no one in the entire audience could hear a single word she sang.

Tyler remarked after the show that the producers should refuse to pay her and should instead donate her singer's fee to The Underprivileged Children of Beverly Hills.

Lana Del Rey was asked by Sangria Wine, a reporter for TV ClickerWorld why she sang so softly and Del Rey replied something or other but Miss Wine could not make out what she said.

Miss Wine suggested that Del Rey really needs to go to the nearest drug store and purchase some multi-vitamins to give her some much needed energy.

Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry surprised everyone as he appeared with his guitar to play "Happy Birthday" for Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler who will turn 64, on Monday.

Seacrest remarked backstage that when Perry went over to hug Tyler that the smell of Ben Gay totally permeated the judges table to the point where J.Lo almost fainted from the very strong smell.

Next week the American Idol contestants will be singing songs from the Paul Revere and The Raiders Music Songbook.

SIDENOTE: Woody The Wonder Woodchuck correctly picked Erika Van Pelt to be this week's eliminated contestant. 3W, as Steven Tyler calls him, now has a record of 2-1.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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