Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 21 March 2012

image for Kardashian Serves the Ham in Text War with Jon Hamm
No, this is not an actual photo of Kim Kardashian

The entertainment world had apparently gone long enough without Kim Kardashian in the headlines, so a widely publicized text fight with Mad Men star Jon Hamm must have fit the bill.

"She apparently didn't care much for being called stupid and void of any talent", says Hamm's publicist Randy Wood, referring to Hamm's European interview and comments about celebrities who are only celebrities by fabricating fame. "Taking a meager modeling career, releasing a sex video with rapper Ray J, and starting a reality show 8 months later is apparently all it takes. That, and one incredible, planetary sized arse, with its own gravity of course", says Wood.

Hamm was on the receiving end of several nasty Tweets from Kardashian and her throng of unemployed, housebound unibrows, but took the high ground in the end. "All it did was keep her in the spotlight", said Wood, "I don't think anyone questions the fact that her talent, whatever that is, is about as sharp as a bowling ball".

"Can't you see that she's a victimized woman?", says loyal fan, Matilda Soyle. "Misunderstood and unappreciated, lured into intimate relationships by those sports stars and celebrities and then dumped, how much more do you expect this woman to take?"

"She will take what she can get, as long as it involves an opportunity in front of the camera", says Wood.

Immediately following the text war cease fire, there were reports of Kardashian sightings on a flight to Denver. There was no confirmation about her attempt to console Tim Tebow after his show was cancelled by the arrival of Peyton Manning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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