Print this

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

image for Justine Bieber volunteers for genetic splicing which will make him manly!
An X chromosone will be spliced from this female into Justime Bieber to make him a stud

LONDON, ONTARIO (ABSNN) - Young Justin Bieber, a heart throb to tweens is a fairly girlish-boy. He is a pale imitation of a wimp; a slow breeze would knock him off his feet. A 98-year-old rag picker would beat his ass in a fight. And Bieber himself is getting tired of being seen pretty much as a milksop. Science may change that, soon.

Klinefelter's Syndrome is produced in male mice by splicing an extra female gene into the DNA. Males who undergo this procedure develop insatiable sex drives. They become hardier, stronger, and aggressive and seem to live for sex.

So powerful is the sex drive in the treated mice that they actually ejaculate twice as much semen as their untreated peers. For Bieber, the gene splicing may make him not only a heart throb but a large throbbing penis man that no girl will ever forget.

"Human males born with Klinefelter's Syndrome or a double X chromosome often suffer from infertility and hypogonadism," said the study's author Paul Bonthuis, "but Bieber is such a pansy already that we think this will make him a real man.

Bieber will enter an unnamed clinic at the end of the week and have his chromosomes altered. Then he will be placed into rooms where experienced fertile females (prostitutes) will evaluate his sexual prowess, or lack thereof.

"I hoping for the best and I know everything will turn out just fine. I'm such a Pollyanna. Maybe Taylor Swift will take me more seriously," Bieber chortled.

Men do not chortle.

Bieber has our best wishes and we hope to hear the results soon.

Make Francois Dubois, S.J.'s day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 5?

1 4 13 15
95 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more