Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 19 March 2012

image for Rosie O'Donnell Devastated At Being Fired By Oprah Winfrey But Refuses To Fire Back At The Talk Show Queen
Noontime at Manhattan's Cinderella Cafeteria. (Photo courtesy of Salvatore Goombalini).

NEW YORK CITY - Rosie O'Donnell is not exactly a happy little camper these days and to actually be politically and geographically correct Miss O'Donnell is neither happy nor little.

Those were the sentiments of iRumors reporter Ling Chow Rangoon who recently interviewed O'Donnell at the Cinderella Cafeteria in Manhattan.

As the two sat in a private booth in the cafeteria's Daniel Boone Elbow Room, O'Donnell told Miss Rangoon that she did not really want to say anything about Miss Winfrey because of the fact that since she is worth $2.7 billion she has a lot of employees who would not appreciate hearing their "Boss" criticized in a way that Rosie would love to do.

Rangoon grinned and stated that she has never known her (O'Donnell) to ever hold back on her feelings or words. Rosie put down the double meat cheeseburger she was eating and remarked that having, as they say, 'been there - done that' she has learned to be careful in choosing her words.

She noted that she is tired of having to eat her words and that even though she is devastated she will refrain from really saying what is on her mind.

Rangoon started laughing and started choking on an onion ring. Luckily for her O'Donnell knows CPR and she was able to assist her. Rangoon did have to tell O'Donnell that she could stop 45 seconds after the piece of onion ring had popped out.

O'Donnell grinned and explained that she just wanted to make sure that there were no more stray pieces of onion ring lodged in her throat.

Rangoon informed her that if there were she had managed to shove them all down her esophagus with the rhythmic thrusts of her humongously humongous tongue.

The cafeteria's assistant manager Moshe Bronfaustowitz, 63, saw what was happening and he immediately walked over to the two women. He bent down and replied in somewhat of a whisper that his establishment did not permit the blatant exhibition of female-to-female kissing involving the lips of both parties.

O'Donnell quickly raised her voice and remarked that the two were not kissing and that she had just saved the life of the noted iRumors reporter who was choking on an extremely large piece of onion ring that had obviously not been fully cooked by the cafeteria's cooks and was as hard as a piece of West Virginia coal.

Mr. Bronfaustowitz quickly apologized and said that he had mistaken the CPR session for a make out session. He then informed both women that their meal would be comped and that he would also be throwing in two free front row tickets to the next New York Knicks game courtesy of the Cinderella Cafeteria.

Rosie and Ling Chow thanked him and they got up and left.

SIDENOTE: As they were leaving the establishment O'Donnell was seen giving Miss Rangoon her cell phone number as she made the universal 'call me' sign with her left hand.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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