Written by Jaggedone
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Wednesday, 14 March 2012

image for Bear Grylls sacked because he couldn't stop whistling, "I will survive", a gay iconic song!
Bear's greatest survival challenge; a "straight" in the "back" woods of San Francisco and Amsterdam!

Global survivor and lover of warm, comfy hotel beds whilst out there in the wilderness (?), Bear Grylls, has been sacked by Discovery Channel. He wasn't sacked for drinking too much bears pee or eating giant bumble bees, no! He was sacked because he had that damn Gloria Gaynor, iconic gay earworm in his head called, "I will survive" and the programme director thought a tough cookie surviving in the outback, desert, Yukon forests and others could never have any 'gay' connections.

Breakback Mountain was hard enough to take (from the rear) but having one of TV's hardmen survival experts whistling non-stop Gloria's fab hit was just too much to take, so they jack-booted him out.

Before he got the sack he apologised to his many global fans for being caught sleeping in a luxury 5 star motel instead of fighting grizzlies, rattlesnakes, panthers, wild moose and boars in the outback. He also apologised for tucking in at the motel buffet filled with pancakes, bacon and eggs instead of drinking bears piss and eating bees.

Although Discovery Channel has give him the boot a Dutch gay TV channel called Out TV, has offered him a new series about surviving in the back streets of San Francisco and Amsterdam as a "straight" male, his most difficult role and it promises to be a right "gender bender!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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