Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 14 March 2012

image for American Idol's Gentle Giant, 6-Foot-8-Inch Jermaine Jones, Has Been Disqualified
A closeup of disqualified American Idol Jermaine "Bye-Bye" Jones. (Photo by Heejun Han).

HOLLYWOOD - Last week after Jennifer Lopez' favorite performer Jeremy Rosado was eliminated from American Idol it left twelve AI hopefuls.

But an interesting development has developed and now there will actually only be eleven contestants left in the competition.

Jermaine Jones, the 25-year-old known as "The Gentle Giant" has been disqualified by the American Idol executives.

According to Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors, Jones, who many felt had a voice very similar to Barry White's, failed to inform the American Idol receptionist when he first registered for the auditions that he had committed two crimes in 2011.

Miss Vermicelli pointed out that both times Jones, who is a native of Pine Hill, New Jersey, gave the arresting officers a fake name.

During the first offense which reportedly had Jones stealing a Shetland pony from a mini-carnival in Upper Pittsgrove, Jones told the arresting officers that his name was Farnsworth Bruce Sombrero.

During his second arrest he lied to the Pine Hill police officers and stated that his name was Chang "Skippy" Yamashiro.

Twenty year veteran Police Sergeant Gino Velvetini [PHPD Badge #9893913] had his doubts as he entered the nickname "Skippy" into the computer. Sergeant Velvetini quickly learned that there is not one single black man living anywhere in the entire United States who is nicknamed "Skippy."

According to iRumors, Jones also has outstanding arrest warrants for trying to steal the milk shake dispensing machine at a Dairy Doll Ice Cream Parlor in Pine Hill and for trying to sell a dozen counterfeit piƱatas in the likeness of Rush "Tubby" Limbaugh to a state Republican congressman from Paramus, New Jersey.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest, Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez, and Steven "Lips" Tyler all refused to make a comment. Randy "The Dawg" Jackson simply replied, "Yo, yo, yo. Lissen up...like oops dawg know what I'm saying dude."]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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