Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 14 March 2012

image for Taylor Swift Denies The Tattoo Rumors
The guitar that Taylor Swift used when she wrote her hit song "Mean."

BEVERLY HILLS - Taylor Swift was recently seen having a nice quiet dinner with one of her high school friends Skeeter Sue Quailberger at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse in 90210.

After the two girls left the restaurant they were approached by Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres. Miss Zeppelin asked Taylor to comment on the rumor that had apparently started in Venice Beach that she had just gotten a tattoo.

Taylor turned red as did her friend Skeeter Sue. Swift brushed back her long flowing blonde locks and remarked that she has promised her mom and dad that she will never mark up her body with any type of body ink.

She conveyed to Miss Z that when she was eight-years-old she had gotten a temporary tattoo of a Cabbage Patch Doll and when her mother saw it she actually fainted hitting her head on a decorative 1887 butter churn that had been built by Taylor's great, great, great grandmother Olga Agnes Diamondbird.

The next door neighbor identified as Herbert "Wine Bottle" Lutzowitz was able to bring Mrs. Swift to after about a minute and a half. Taylor immediately told her mom that the tattoo was not permanent and then she proceeded to wash if off with a Kleenex tissue.

Taylor informed Miss Zeppelin that rumors about her getting a tattoo seem to surface about every six or seven months. The last tattoo rumor noted that Taylor had gotten a tattoo of Jake Gyllenhaal's face on her lower back.

Swift was able to trace that vicious rumor to comedian Chelsea Handler who is known as a big time loser and who has been feuding with Joan "The Moan" Rivers since the beginning of the year.

Taylor noted that two members of her security detail had approached Miss Handler as she sat eating a triple meat burger at a Burger Bandit in Avocado Heights last week and informed her that if she ever starts another vicious rumor about Miss Swift again she will be dealt with according to the statues of the law.

FOOTNOTE: Taylor is thrilled that her Taylor Swift Bobblehead Doll has just become the largest selling bobblehead doll in Wales, Italy, Uruguay, and Dutch West Wakaboonka.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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