Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 8 March 2012

image for American Idol's Jessica Sanchez Receives The Night's Only Standing Ovation From J.Lo, Randy, and Steven
This is the Rolls Royce that J.Lo, 42, bought for her 24-year-old boy-toy Caspar Smart. (Photo by El NiƱo).

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol's Top 13 went at it gender-to-gender with the guys singing songs by Stevie Wonder and the girls singing songs by Whitney Houston.

Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest, 37, said that there was a bit of a controversy earlier in the week when Deandre "Curls" Brackensick, 17, who sings like a girl, stated that he preferred to sing a Whitney Houston song instead of a Stevie Wonder song.

The shows producer Simon Shindlebocker had a talk with Deandre and explained to him that he was merely a contestant on the show and that he was not one of the consultants or a member of the American Idol Rules & Regulations Committee.

After being told that he would sing a Stevie Wonder song or he would be shown the door young Mr. Brackensick decided to sing a Stevie Wonder song.

Steven "Lips" Tyler remarked that he thinks that Deandre may have become somewhat conceited since he found out that President Obama, the "First Mama," and the "First Kiddoes" are all pulling for him to win it all.

According to Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld, country girl Skylar Laine of Mississippi is the favorite singer of Rush Limbaugh.

When 18-year-old Skylar heard that she became so depressed that she had to be rushed to a nearby emergency clinic suffering from a severe case of depressionitis which if not treated immediately can render a singer voiceless within 12 hours.

Heejun Han of Flushing, New York was thrilled to hear that he is the favorite of New York Knicks basketball sensation Jeremy Lin. Heejun performed the Stevie Wonder hit "Hey, Has Anyone Seen My Damn Harmonica?"

The male who received the most praise from the three judges was Westlake, Louisiana native Joshua Ledetz who sang the 1971 hit song, "Yo Girl, I Sho Does Love Your Afro Sheen Curls Uhh Huh."

And little pint-sized Jessica Sanchez who is only 16, received the night's only standing ovation as she sang Whitney Houston's beautiful love ballad from the movie The Hair Stylist "My Hair Might Be Kinky, But I Ain't."

This year American Idol has hired the services of Woody The Wonder Woodchuck who each week will make his prediction as to which American Idol contestant will be eliminated.

Last year Woody worked on Dancing With The Stars but American Idol executives managed to lure him away from DWTS with a very lucrative contract offer.

SIDENOTE: Woody The Wonder Woodchuck predicts that the first contestant to be eliminated from American Idol's Top 13 contestants will be 6-foot-tall Shannon Magrane, 16, of Tampa, Florida.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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