Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 March 2012

image for Russell Brand Confesses That Kate Gosselin Makes His Toes Tingle and His Lap Feel Frisky
Russell Brand says Kate Gosselin is a swimsuit freak who owns 17 swimsuits. (Photo courtesy of Steven Tyler).

SANTA MONICA BEACH - Russell Brand and Kate Gosselin have only been dating for a little over a week and they are already making waves (no pun intended) as they frolicked in the warm waters off Santa Monica Beach.

Brand wore a black swimsuit with the Union Jack logo on the back and Kate wore a Sofia Vergara Designer Mini Bikini that really had no room for any kind of logo whatsoever.

Gosselin, 36, remarked that it was great to be with a man who was not concerned about trying to look better than her like her ex-boyfriend American Idol's Steven "Lips" Tyler was.

Kate smiled as she signed some autographs and had her picture taken with an elderly couple from Saginaw, Michigan, who had disclosed that they had seen all of her movies.

Gosselin informed them that she has not made any movies. The couple look surprised and the woman, who was 87, said that they had recently seen her in the movie Bad Teacher.

Kate thanked them for the compliment but let them know that Cameron Diaz had appeared in the movie and not her. The couple turned pink and apologized. Kate simply smiled and quipped that she gets that a lot.

Russell gave the couple an autographed copy of his movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, along with a $100 gift certificate to The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana.

As the happy couple walked off to a nearby Princess Pretzella Pretzel Shop, Russell turned to Kate and told her that he absolutely loves the fact that she can make his toes tingle and his lap feel frisky faster than any female he has ever known.

Kate smiled, giggled, and wiggled what her mama gave her.

In late breaking political news. Newt Gingrich has stated that there is positively no truth to the rumor that is currently circulating throughout the Carolina's that he has decided to drop out of the GOP presidential race and support Mitt Romney who will then name him as his Vice-Presidential choice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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