Written by Simon Saunders
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Monday, 27 February 2012

image for Eighties Pop Sensation To Make Comeback
Curly wurly addiction. No laughing matter for Ringo Dingo.

Former star of Aussie soap opera 'Son's and Neighbours', and one time heart-throb, Ringo Dingo, is to release a new album after 23 years in the musical wilderness.

Dingo, 45, best remembered for his 1986 smash hit, 'Pat Sharp's Mullet', said he plans to release a collection of adult nursery rhymes including, 'Humpty Dumpty Shat On A Wall', 'The Grand Ol' Duke Of Pork' and 'Jack and Bill'. The latter being a gay friendly version of the timeless classic, 'Jack and Jill.'

Music insiders have dismissed his comeback attempt as a cynical way of cashing in on the current eighties revival scene.

A skint Dingo laughed of the suggestion he was just doing it for a quick buck.
Dingo cackled, "I hardly think I'm doing this for money. After all, the market for adult nursery rhymes is not exactly a large one. I truly believe in this project and hopefully it will remind people that I'm not dead, yet."

Dingo's career nosedived in 1989 after revelations about his addiction to curly wurly's appeared in the 'Daily Binraker'.

Remembering the day the story broke, Dingo said, "I was really depressed already after my second album, 'Wankered', failed to chart."

The album was panned by critic's. The NME described it as sounding like "a giant shit sandwich being squashed."

After selling just fifteen copies of his much anticipated second album, Dingo slipped further into addiction. Recalling his struggle with addiction, Dingo said, "It was terrible. I started off taking maltesers and before I knew it I was on curly wurly's. The 90's were a really tough time for me. Rehab didn't work intially, but I was determined to beat this terrible addiction and eventually I did."

Human music encyclopedia, Paulo Gambababacini, thinks the idea of an album of adult nursery rhymes is ludicrous. "It sounds like a terrible idea," muttered Paulo. "It may be up there with Welsh warbler, Charlotte Pricktease and her collection of bawdy rugby songs, including the memorably awful 'Diddle Me At Twickenham."

When asked what he would do if the album flopped. Dingo whispered, "I'll probably kill myself."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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