Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 27 February 2012

image for American honor restored as 'Rear of the Year' J-Lo's bottom knocks the spots off Pippa Middleton
Women Swear Daily pic of Pippa Middleton's ass

Los Angeles - And all it took was just one rather feline strut down the red carpet in a shimmering $50,000 Stuart Gulliver gown to steal the show on Oscars Night as Jennifer Lopez reaffirmed her pole position in yet another International Rear Of The Year cliffhanger.

Commentators were quick to compare the stunning, forty-something actress and American Idol judge's astonishing rear profile with Pippa Middleton's - last year's up-and-coming wannabe from London, England.

The 30 year-old Brit chic was a bridesmaid in Westminster Abbey at her sister's nuptials in April 2011 where TV cameramen where accused of focusing on her shapely derriere instead of the Archbishop of Canterbury and other worthies.

(Not that the old Archbish 'doesn't have a nice ass himself' according to ecclesiastical sources...)

However, last night at the Academy Awards the swish of J-Lo's sheer oyster-white silk with its strategic cutaways and superb designer construction made it a no-contest situation as American Society of Celebrity Prosthetic - er...Aesthetic! - Surgeons sources confirmed J-Lo's bottom has been voted once again the most popular shape requested by women requesting butt surgery.

"And not a pair of falsies in sight!" Randy Fellatzo, editor at the iconic LA HagFagSlagMag.con celebwatch magazine tweeted this morning in what some allege is a dreadful indictment of La Middleton's own posterior chicanery.

Lopez, who was joined by fellow actress Cameron Diaz in presenting the award for Best Costume Design and Best Makeup, easily took the Oscars sartorial spoils as fashionistas queried Diaz's own take on the must-strut white party gown.

The strapless, figure-hugging Gucci dress got the nod 'from the waist upwards' as critics panned it for its whipped cream 'n' meringue fishtail skirt.

"Looks like Cameron's just sprung out of a huge vat of wedding cake icing," a reporter from Women Swear Daily commented.

"Still, she kinda pulled it off - maybe at some wild post-Oscars party later, heheh..."

Meryl Streep is still 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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