Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Money, Dance, Jessie J

Friday, 24 February 2012

image for The Truth Is That It IS All About The Money For Jessie J - 'Domino' All About Ker-ching!
It's Not About This - Or Is It?

London born pop star Jessie J - who once sang proudly that it's not about the price tag, the money, the bling, the ker-ching! of the cash registers, but about a desire to make make the world dance, has been lambasted as a hypocrite by a woman who claims to have been a former school friend.

Londoner, Globulina Zitz, who is currently homeless, and sleeping in a skip in Hackney, claims to have been a former school chum of Jessie J - real name, Jessica Ellen Cornish - and says that the star's claims to be disinterested in fame and fortune, and only interested in making the world dance, are a tissue of lies.

"She was a right ambitious little cah," Miss Zitz slurred as she polished off a bottle of nail varnish remover. "Always on abaht money, and bling, and goin' 'ker-ching!' all the bleedin' time. Obsessed wiv dosh she was. Dint give a shit abaht naffink s'long as she 'ad a bit o' wedge. You know wot I am sayin' is right - if she ain't interested in the foldin' - why make anuvver record called 'Domino'? And that Adele ain't no better! I used to go to school viv 'er as well, an' she nicked my fella she did. The cah. That song wot she sings abaht lost love - that's my song that is! I give 'er the inspiration for that! They've nicked all me ideas, the cahs. That Amy Winehouse wuz no bleedin' better - used to go to school wiv 'er too I did. Ah wuz called Valerie back then - straight up mate! Wot did ah git aht of it? Naffink. 'Orrible barsteds. Can yer spare us free sovs for anuvver bottle o' nail varnish remover mate?"

At which point our reporter made his excuses and left.

Free sovs is free sovs innit. Know wot I mean guv?

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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