Written by P.M. Wortham
Print this

Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan's Lawyers Get Bonus after Waxing Her Surfboard
"I'm really just a good Christian girl who needed to grow up"

Call it what you will. Speaking in flowery terms, painting a picture in a positive light, waxing poetic or waxing her surfboard, but Lindsay Lohan's lawyers earned a huge bonus this week after proclaiming her "maturity growth" in front of the press following her most recent court appearance.

Following up on Judge Sautner's positive comments related to Lohan's most recent behavior, going back no farther than 3 months of course, Lohan's law team hit the press to secure as much positive publicity as they could.

"Anything to offset the negative", said Entertainment insider and California surf shop owner, Mel Anoma. "I mean that girl knows how to sniff out a party and trouble at the same time. A little positive press isn't a bad thing".

Referring to the law team's comments about Lohan, Anoma said, "Well it's a bit early to be sending out for party balloons and congratulatory cake just yet, but those guys were laying it on thick. That wax job was smooth and tacky, much like her lawyers", said Anoma.

Lohan continues to remain under the watchful eye of the court, but if she manages to finish out her treatment program she could be back on the streets and in your local upscale club in time for Mojito and G-string season this summer.

"Yup", said Anoma. "If I were 20 years younger, I'd wax her surfboard myself for free".

Make P.M. Wortham's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

3 10 12 19
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more