Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for Rihanna and Chris Brown Are Back Together And Both Suggest That Miranda "Shotgun" Lambert Needs To Mind Her Own Business
Rihanna's sandals which were hand-made by one of her fans.

ST. BARTS, West Indies - It appears that after three years Rihanna has finally forgiven Chris Brown for beating her up on the night of The Grammy Award Show.

Chris and Rihanna pleasantly reconnected at this year's Grammy Award Show. A spokesperson for the Barbados beauty said that Rihanna has never stopped loving Chris, no matter what all of the supermarket tabloids have said to the contrary.

The couple spoke with Yodelle Denzel St. Bling, a reporter with Afro Sheen Magazine as they sat on the Caribbean beach drinking Kiwi Margaritas, nibbling on moon pies, and French kissing.

Chris took Ri's hand and wanted for Mr. St. Bling to be sure and let all of his readers know that he has apologized to Ri for allegedly causing her to have numerous bruises, cuts, scrapes, contusions, wounds, lacerations, and abrasions.

He added that he regrets making up the stories that he did. He wanted to clear the air and stated that she had not tripped on her six-inch imported stiletto heels like he had told the authorities.

He also noted that she had not tripped over a French Poodle as he had conveyed to a reporter for Bedroom Pillow Talk.

Chris confessed that she was also not knocked down to the ground after she had given a homeless man a dollar instead of the five dollars that he had asked her for.

Ri touched "Boopsy Woopsy's" lips, as she calls Brown and remarked that what had really happened was that she had gotten hurt when he heroically tried to swat a bumblebee from stinging her on her face.

Chris smiled and gave her a high five. He then told St. Bling to be sure and include the fact that he loves Rihanna more than he loves food itself.

The singer whose real name is Christopher Maurice Brown then added that he has donated thousands of dollars to The Rihanna Barbados Bamboo Hut For Abused, Battered, and Beat Up Women.

Rihanna gave him a fist bump and then she got up and sat on his lap and remarked to "Boopsy Woopsy" that she was made for his lap.

Chris got the biggest smile on his face and simply remarked, "Uh huh ba-by, fa shizzle ma nizzle and a yippee-ki-yay to boot."

St. Bling started laughing so hard he dropped his iPad. Luckily it didn't get damaged since it landed on the beautiful, soft St. Bart's sand.

Just before Rihanna and Chris got up to go back to their luxurious suite to engage in a bit of horizontal hip hoppin', she told Mr. St. Bling that there was one more thing that she wanted for him to print in his publication.

Rihanna took Chris' hand and said, "Please tell that little bitty country girl Miranda Lambert to mind her own cotton pickin' business and to quit saying that if it had been her she would have taken a shotgun to the man that had hit her."

Rihanna took a sip from her Kiwi Margarita and added, "And tell the tiny backwoods munchkin that talk is cheap and I guarantee you that if she were to ever take the law into her own hands and empty both barrels of her shotgun into a man she would end up in prison assuming the man didn't take the shotgun away from her little cowgirl self and shoot her with it."

In a related story. Miranda Lambert's husband country singer Blake Shelton has told his itty bitty wife that she needs to just get up on stage and sing her little songs and keep her redneck mouth shut and not worry about what other people are doing before she ends up like the damn Dixie Chicks playing at a Holiday Inn lounge in front of 9 people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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