Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Beyonce Knowles

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

image for Do Not Touch Blue Ivy™: Beyonce Gets Restraining Order Against The World.
There are no pictures of black children available to writers for thespoof.com, it seems.

Beyonce and Jay-Z have sent a message to their servants, hangers-on, millionaire pseudofriends and the unwashed masses alike: You may gaze upon Blue Ivy™, but only from 15 feet away.

And she's done so with a Retraining Order against the entire world.

"Don't take it personally, my loyal fans," Beyonce had someone write for her on her Facebook page. "I just don't want any poor people cooties on my baby Blue Ivy™."

"We download her albums on Thepiratebay, buy counterfeit t-shirts at flea markets and watch cell phone videos of her concerts," said Coney Island washroom attendant Hectorina Gonzalez. "She'd have nothing without her fans."

"And now she Is treating us like she treated LeToya Luckett. And LaTavia Roberson. And Kelly Roberson. And Kelly Rowland. And Elektra Records. And Michelle Williams. And Rob Fusari, Jermaine Dupri, Wyclef Jean, Dwayne Wiggins and Corey Rooney. And Solange."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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