Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 22 February 2012

image for Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Want The Age Old Practice of Lip Syncing Stopped Once and For All
President Obama on the phone with Selena Gomez telling her that she is Malia and Sasha's hero. (Photo by V.P. Joe Biden).

ASHLAND, Wisconsin - One of the happiest celebrity couples in America, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez flew out to Ashland, Wisconsin.

A group of retired Wisconsin Amalgamated Power & Light workers spent a total of 48 hours building the largest snowman in the history of snowmen.

Sal The Snowman stands 173 feet tall and has a nose comprised of 39 carrots.

The power and light workers built the snowman on a dare from their wives who are members of The Wives of The Retired Wisconsin Amalgamated Power & Light Workers.

Justin and Selena who are both fans of snowmen flew to Ashland to get a first hand look at Sal The Snowman.

Tequila Tallyho with Left Coast Mirror Magazine said that the happy couple took at least 200 photographs of the snowman along with about 55 minutes of video.

Justin informed Miss Tallyho that he plans on using some of the video and photos in his next music video for his new song titled "There's Snow Place Like Home."

He told Miss T that the video will also include six reindeer, three snow bunnies, and an actor dressed up as the Abominable Snowman.

Selena added that about a dozen Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders will also be appearing in the video wearing skimpy shorts and halter tops.

Tallyho asked Justin about his and Selena's proposal that they would like to see the age old practice of singers lip syncing to songs during concerts stopped once and for all.

He grinned as he shook his head. He remarked that he and Selena have never once lip synced to a song during one of their concerts. He said that when fans pay $80, $90, and more to see them perform they do not want to see them simply mouthing the words to some pre-recorded music.

Selena chimed in and said that if one really thinks about it with an open mind, it would be like a doctor conducting a physical exam of a patient over the telephone.

Justin said that performers like Jessica Simpson, Madonna, Ashlee Simpson, and Rihanna at times are not even in sync with the lyrics and it is very obvious to even the people sitting in the sixth and seventh rows.

Justin and Selena plan to meet with President Obama in the Oval Office and present their case and hope that he agrees with them. They will then ask him to issue a Presidential Directive, which he can easily do, banning this cheap, lazy, fan-insulting, lip syncing policy.

Selena went on to say that if professional singers cannot dance and sing at the same time without having to resort to cheating by lip syncing then maybe they just need to stand in front of the microphone stand and sing their songs live like Adele, Melanie Amaro, Pia Toscano, and Sara Evans all do.

In late breaking news. Newt Gingrich is insisting that he did not have a one night stand with Ann "Trigger" Coulter back on Saturday, July 16, 2011, in room 13 at the Mrs. Ponce De Leon Hotel in Beverly Hills.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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