London, England-- Sir Paul McCartney started smoking cannabis again today, only one day after pledging to give up the weed. The ex-Beatle says he smoked marijuana every day for fifty years, and thought that he had 'had enough'. Less than twenty-four hours later he was lighting up once more.
"How do you people stand it!" exclaimed Sir Paul, as he exhaled a great puff of gray smoke. "I was bored silly after only a minute--it was like being dead!" he moaned.
Sir Paul lit up his third joint of the hour, and tried to explain his reasons for giving up weed yesterday.
"Like, you know. I was married to some girl after what's her name died. And, like she had this baby, or something, a long time ago. And I wanted to know, like, you know--was it a boy or a girl??" he laughed.
"Then there are the other kids, can't remember their names either. Can't understand how they got to be so old...one of them is over forty!" he said.
Drug counselors all agree that drug users stop maturing emotionally as soon as they begin using drugs. Sir Paul still acts like a post-adolescent, even though he's nearly seventy.
"And who was that old man staring at me in the bathroom mirror yesterday??" said Sir Paul, as he spoke about his own reflection. "Was it me grandfather??"