Written by JimmyMc Poopie
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Topics: gopher

Friday, 3 March 2006

image for Gordon the Gopher seeks Revenge.

Gordon the gopher who first came to fame in the program GOING LIVE last month came out and told us about his tragic life.

''every day i would be scared to take my part on the GOING LIVE stage and act happy in front of the children, because Phillip Scofield (co-worker) would always put his hands up my behind and act as if it was a regular thing to do''

Gordon aged 43 told us that during his time on going live, Phillip would become very drunken after the show and abuse him.

we asked Gordon when this all began, he said the following statement.

''me and Phillip had a very good relationship up until the point we did the sketch Scrooge - A Christmas Sarah after this sketch things took a turn for the worse, Phillip would come over to me and start to stroke my head as if i were a dog and then violently thrust his hand right up my.....''

after this interview Gordon could not go on and talk anymore about the subject.

we caught up with him this month just to make sure everything was ok, he had the following to say.

''when i spoke to you guys you opened my eyes to the truth, these last few years I've been living a lie!, there's no way i should have let such things get so much out of hand''

he then told us about the plan he had and carried out.

''well i would phone up Phillip and tell him that i would kill him, id phone his wife up and pretend to be his gay lover and most recently I've called some friends up to put something up his bottom to see if he likes it.
I'm not a violent puppet I just don't see how people can get away with such things its disgraceful and appalling.''

after this interview Gordon has retired to a small cottage in the Scotland mountains.

a few weeks later we caught up with phillip in a hospital in the midlands, his reaction of what had happend was a bit different.

''there was no need to take what happend this far, its inexcusable to go hireing people to do this to me, if he had a problem why didnt he come and see me like a real man.
there is no way in hell gordon would of gotten half as far in his carear if it wasnt for me, another thing is that he obviously doesnt understand that hes a puppet, he needs peoples hands up his jacksee otherwise he will not be able to move.''

after talking to both parties they both decided not to speak to eachother anymore and to try and live the rest of there lives as if nothing ever happend.

one things for sure tho, memories about Going Live will never be the same again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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