Sky One has announced that Pineapple studios choreographer and Dancing on Ice judge Louie Spence is to host a re-launched and revamped '..on gangs' series.
Replacing Nookie bear faced former Eastenders hard man Ross Kemp, Spence will front the new series starting in the summer where the walking stereotype will visit a number of dangerous locations meeting and trying to understand some of the world's most violent criminal organisations.
A Sky One spokesman said: "Louie might not be everyone's first choice for this role but we thought he was perfect for where we want to go with the programme." When asked what this meant the spokesman said that the show was looking to 'tap into' a large section of the show's audience that had been previously ignored.
"After looking at some viewing figures we realised we hadn't appreciated just how popular the show was among …erm a certain element of the male audience. Watching some of the episodes where Ross visited gangs of lithe, muscular Latino teenagers wearing white vests and burly, shaven headed, earring wearing, tattooed Polish Skinheads it became obvious why this large and very upmarket section of male society was watching and Louie is just the right man for that audience."
The spokesman further revealed the complex psychological profiling behind their decision: " We got that Raj Persuad to give us an insight into the show's audience and his findings pointed out that most men who are fans of watching other men in tight fitting clothing running around with big guns making threats are also likely to secretly 'fans of Louie'...so it was a total no-brainer."
Although Sky are quick to defend the appointment other media commentators are less than happy at the thought. The Daily Mail's Richard Littlejohn was unavailable for comment due to a suspected heart attack over the news while shit-haired, right wing rent- a- gob Jeremy Clarkson was strangely quiet on the subject -just staring at our reporter and quietly muttering "what? what?" we when asked him.
Spence himself however was his usual upbeat self when we asked him his views on his upcoming series.
"oh it'll be WONDERFUL" said the lisping little dancer " I'm like a rash darling-I spread myself EVERYWHERE!" he added before pirouetting off down the street.
Spence's shock appointment comes hard on the heels of the BBC confirming that former The Only Way is Essex star Harry Derbridge was on the shortlist to replace Gary Lineker on Match of the Day.