Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 20 February 2012

image for The Celebrity Apprentice Premiers and Former Super Model Cheryl Tiegs is The First One Fired By Donald Trump
One of the Super Duper Sandwiches that the ladies Team Forte made and sold for $100.

NEW YORK CITY - Season 12 of The Celebrity Apprentice kicked off with 18 celebrities including singers Clay Aiken, Debbie Gibson, Aubrey O'Day, and Dee Snider, who is better known as the lead singer for Twisted Sister.

Other celebrities included the Incredible Hulk, Lou Ferrigno; former talk show host Arsenio Hall; Star Trek legend George Takei; and star of the cable show American Chopper Paul Teutul, Sr.

The women's team known as Forte has some very good looking ladies including Miss Universe 2008, Dayana Mendoza; Venezuelan model and actress Patricia Velasquez; and of course the quintessential model Chery Tiegs.

The men chose Unanimous as their team name. George Takei, who is gay, right way noticed that Paul Teutul, Sr. and Lou Ferrigno had the biggest muscles.

Clay Aiken, who is also gay, noted that this was the first time that there had been two gay celebrities on the show.

Donald Trump smiled and replied tongue-in-cheek that he kinda felt that there may actually be three as he turned to a red-faced Adam Corolla.

Corolla quickly quipped for him not to believe the recent compromising photos of him and Elton John saying that they had been photoshopped because he does not now own nor has he ever owned a New England Patriots Jersey covered with thousands of pink sequins.

Comedian Lisa Lampanelli and Victoria Gotti, daughter of Mafia boss John Gotti both rolled their eyes.

Team Unanimous managed to sell a total of 9,816 sandwiches while Team Forte only managed to sell 9,753.

But all of the combined money that was earned which totalled $494,000 went to the men's team whom Trump declared the winner.

Paul Teutol, Sr. ended up telling Donald Trump that an unidentified very good friend of his had purchased a sandwich and paid $305,000 for it.

Tia Carrere, a Grammy winning actress and Teresa Guidice, of The Real Housewives of New Jersey all started crying and said that it was unfair.

An embarrassed teammate Victoria Gotti yelled out to the two women to shut up, suck it up, and that there is no crying in the world of sandwiches.

Carrere and Guidice both stopped crying immediately and Trump started laughing and remarked that when a Gotti talks you better listen.

Penn Gillete added that Ms. Gotti could call him a humongous piece of dinosaur dung who smells three times worse than a New Jersey landfill and he would merely smile and reply "Thank you for those kind words Madam Gotti and can I get you a cup of coffee, a bottle of water, or a Big Mac?"

Donald Trump Jr., started giggling and remarked, "Hey daddy, Mr. Gillette is one funny big old tub of lard ain't he?"

Trump senior grinned and said, "Yes he is Donnie. Mr. Gillette is definitely one smart as hell big old tub of lard."

Victoria Gotti grinned and simply remarked, "Youse guys make my tummy giggle with fun."

And when it came time to fire the first celebrity it came down to Patricia Velasquez, Cheryl Tiegs, or Victoria Gotti.

Trump said that Velasquez worked much to hard to fire. He then stated that he was not about to fire Victoria Gotti, the sweet, little, cute-as-a-button daughter of one of America's biggest Mafia bosses.

So he pointed out the fact that he really had no choice in the matter. He looked over at sweet, innocent Chery Tiegs, the blue-eyed, blonde all-American girl and uttered those horrible words, "Cheryl - you're fired!"

SIDENOTE: Donald Trump recently remarked to Political Salad Bar Magazine that he has still not ruled out running for president and that if he did he would run on his own Moneybags Party ticket.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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