Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 18 February 2012

image for Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus Getting Into A Tit For Tat Tiff Over Her Tattoos
Miley has a total of nine body tattoos including one of Dora The Explorer on her tongue.

MALIBU BEACH - Miley Cyrus and her Australian boyfriend Liam Hemsworth recently attended a party in honor of the stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev.

The shindig was held at Rob Pattinson's luxurious Malibu Beach house known as The Vampire Villa.

Miley was supporting a number 17 basketball jersey with the name of New York Knicks rookie sensation Jeremy Lin.

According to Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo Miley is one of Lin's biggest fans. She flew to Toronto and saw Jeremy make the game-winning shot at the buzzer.

After the game she spoke with Lin in the Knicks locker room where she gave him an autographed copy of her latest CD Can't Be Tamed, a Hannah Montana keychain, and a $9,000 Rolex Watch.

Lin was shocked. He took the CD and the keychain but told Miley that he could not accept the expensive watch. Miley insisted telling him that she could not return it because she had lost the receipt.

Jeremy smiled and replied, "Oh...okey dokey hokey pokey, well in that case thank you, thank you, thank you very much Hannah."

Miley giggled and told him that he could call her Miley please.

"Okay then" Lin replied, "Miley please it is."

Cyrus started laughing and asked him if she could give him a hug.

Lin blushed and said that it would be okay with him but that he was kind of on the sweaty side since he had just finished playing an NBA basketball game.

Miley grinned and said that she was from Tennessee so she is used to good, honest, hard-working sweat.

Back on the Left Coast, San Guacamole asked Miley about the story that just appeared in the supermarket tabloid Say What? about her and Liam (Hemsworth) getting into a bit of a verbal squabble.

Miley, who is 19 took a drink of her A&W Root Beer and remarked that it was not really so much a verbal squabble as it was a confrontational fracas.

"Huh?" San Guacamole asked puzzled as the dickens.

Cyrus laughed and told her that her and the Hemster had pulled into the drive thru window at a local Pepe's Land of The Enormous Enchilada in La Brea when he made what she called an out-of-line remark.

She expressed to San Guacamole that Liam had commented that he did not like her tattoos and that they made her look cheap, tacky, scummy, uneducated, lazy, sleazy, disrespectful, and vulgar.

Miley screamed out that she is not lazy.

Liam shot back by saying that he has decided that if they are to continue with their intimate relationship which he said on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 9.5, then she will have to make an appointment to go in and have all of her tattoos laserly removed.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up my good old pal Larry King and I asked him if he knew how many tattoos Miley Cyrus has on her body. He laughed and asked me if Lindsay Lohan has freckles on her (blank). I answered that I guess she does. Bingo! Larry shouted out and he told me that Miley has a total of nine tattoos.]

Miley is reportedly devastated at having to go through the expense and pain of having nine tattoos lasered off her body. She told Liam that if he really loved her he would accept her; tattoos and all.

Liam replied that if he wanted to be involved with a poster girl for ink art he would see about hooking up with Kat Von D.

FOOTNOTE: It is no secret that Miley's parents Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus have wanted for her to have all of her tattoos removed for quite sometime now as evidenced by the fact that this past Christmas they gave her a $10,000 gift certificate good for removing everyone of her nine body tattoos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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