Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 16 February 2012

image for Lady Gaga Devastated That She Didn't Even Win One Grammy
FuFi Fondue giving Rick Santorum a $425 haircut. (Photo courtesy of Richard Simmons).

BEVERLY HILLS - Lady Gaga went into the infamous Haven of Hair Salon located on the world famous Rodeo Drive to get an estimate on a brand new Ukrainian-inspired hairdo.

As she sat in the chair chatting with salon owner FuFi Fondue she appeared to be somewhat depressed.

Fondue, who has a degree in The Inner Thought Process from Left Coast College in Carpinteria, asked the flamboyant singer if there was something that she wanted to get off of her chest.

Lady Gaga, who appeared to be in a state of suspended animation, asked the ostentatiously flashy FuFi why he asked.

Fondue put down his iPad and replied that he just kind of felt that something might be wrong since he noticed that when she sat down in the chair she immediately grabbed a hair curler and started licking it as if it was a Nutty Butty ice cream cone.

Gaga got a faraway look in her eyes, kind of like what Sarah "Snowflake" Palin used to get when she was asked a question regarding geography.

She did acknowledge to Fondue that he had hit the fingernail on the head and confessed that ever since the Grammy Award Show she has been quasi despondent.

"Because of Whitney Houston?" He asked.

Lady Gaga replied she was mostly angry due to the fact that she felt that Whitney's ex-husband Bobby Brown had taken the extremely talented singer off of the Boulevard to Glory and rerouted her to the Dirt Road of Dependency.

Fondue stated that he had never personally met (Brown) but did recall having seen him once at a Pizza Gal in Avocado Heights and he was arguing with the manager about his double pepperoni pizza being short one slice of pepperoni; one little slice!

Lady Gaga then confessed to Fondue that the reason she has been feeling a lot like the downheartedly dejected Demi Moore is due to the fact that although she was nominated for several Grammy Awards - she did not win even one Grammy.

She grabbed another hair curler and pointed out that the British singer Adele had waltzed right into the Staples Center and sauntered off with six Grammy Awards.

Fondue told Gaga that he thinks that Adele is fantabulous and quipped that he would love to get his hands on her mane because she has the prettiest looking hair since Pamela Anderson.

In other news. Oprah Winfrey informed Bedroom Pillow Talk that the rumor that she has a tattoo with Charlie Sheen's name is absolutely ridiculous. She then added that if she was to get a tattoo it would be one with the name Gayle King.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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