Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 February 2012

image for Bruce Willis Says Demi Moore's Depressed Condition Is Totally Ashton Kutcher's Fault
Dr. Milroy "Say Ahh" Klicky is very concerned about Demi who is only consuming 28 calories daily.

HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Willis recently stated that he has tried to stay out of the May-December marital mess of his ex-wife Demi Moore, 49, and her boy-toy husband Ashton "The Itch" Kutcher, 34.

Willis, who fathered three semi-good looking daughters with Moore who turned into one of LaLaLand's most infamous "Cougars" told a reporter for Bedroom Pillow Talk that he blames Demi's fragile state of mind on Kutcher.

The star of the Die Hard movies told BPT's Carolina Chipotle that he had warned Demi dozens of times not to get herself involved with Ashton because he was nothing but a notorious womanizing womanizer who would drain her physically, emotionally, financially, and politically.

But Bruce said that it was like talking to a pepper shaker. He shook his head and noted that Kutcher finally got to the point where he could no longer pretend that Moore's cellulite, stretch marks, blemishes, varicose veins, and mid-life personality were simply just not there.

Bruce did admit to Miss Chipotle that he himself had kind of felt the same way but that at least he did not lead her on and continue giving her all kinds of complimentary compliments like saying that she had the best looking legs west of Nevada.

Willis pointed out that one of his daughters, the middle one, Scout even recalled Ashton once telling (Demi) at a Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Chinese Restaurant in Toluca Lake that he would always be by her side even once she started growing sideburns and getting hair on her upper lip, her stomach, and even on her tongue.

The youngest of Bruce and Demi's daughters Tallulah has said that she is really starting to worry about her mom's health because all she eats for breakfast is one grape, for lunch she eats one cracker, and for dinner she eats two M&Ms.

Bruce acknowledges that Demi's eating habit just ain't worth a damn, unless of course she was a sardine.

In a somewhat related story. The Tucson Medical Agency is asking weight doctors to be more careful after two liposuction cases resulted in one woman having an eardrum sucked out through her stomach and another woman having both her tonsils sucked out through one of her thighs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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