Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 February 2012

image for Super Bowl Performer M.I.A. Alias "The Middle Finger Flicker" Has Been Banned From The United States
President Obama says that he will not tolerate anyone shooting the finger during a football halftime show.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama says that in the three years that he has been in office that he has never received the extensive amount of emails, text messages, and phone calls that he has due to the British rapper known as M.I.A.

The Sri Lankan hip hopper whose real name is Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam has caused quite a controversy after having shot the bird during Madonna's halftime performance at Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis.

Madonna has distanced herself from the incident saying that she had no idea that M.I.A. did what she did. She did say that she will never again hire her and actually is withholding her entire paycheck until she apologizes.

M.I.A. says that Madonna cannot legally garnish her paycheck but Madonna's attorney Ginger Allred, sister of the infamous Left Coast attorney Gloria Allred said that little Miss M.I.A. is M.E.S.S.E.D. up in her H.E.A.D. and stated that Madonna has every right to garnish her check due to a clause in her contract that deals with Turpitude Invictus Habeas Pro Fa Shizzle Ma Nizzle Ad Hocalosis Type 9.

The Sri Lankan singer said that it all just sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to her and added that she is going to sue Madonna, the New England Patriots, the New York Giants, Newt Gingrich's Presidential Campaign Organization, Telemundo, Sports Announcer Chris Collinsworth, the Indianapolis Colts, and Gisele "The Beak" Bundchen.

Ginger Allred reportedly remarked that the vampire-looking M.I.A. could sue this as she gestured to her crotch area.

In the mean time President Obama has decided that he will be issuing a Presidential Directive which states that M.I.A. is banned from entering the United States for a period of one year or 365 days whichever comes first.

SIDENOTE: It was reported by iRumors that Kanye West had told Summersetter Faxx of Bedroom Pillow Talk that if he had been at the Super Bowl and seen the vulgar finger gesture that M.I.A. made he would have jumped on stage, taken away her microphone, and bitten her damn finger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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