INDIANAPOLIS - Rosie O'Donnell decided to put on her 'Matchmaker' hat and is trying to hook up the stunningly sultry Jenny McCarthy with Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow.
The talk show host should be slapped with penalties for encroachment, illegal low block, incidental contact, having her humongous backfield in motion, and for illegal use of her mouth.
There is just no way that the nice, wholesome, All-American 24-year-old Tim Tebow needs to get himself anywhere near the tremendously experienced 39-year-old voluptuous vixen who has been to more picnics than all of the ants in Lake Charles, Louisiana combined.
As Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine wrote, "Whoa Nellie, putting Tim Tebow together with the raging hormoned cougar Jenny McCarthy would be like putting a hungry lion in a petting zoo and expecting it to be nice to all the cute little bitty animals - it just ain't gonna happen sports fans."
Reno pointed out that it goes without saying that there are lots and lots of red-blooded American dudes who would give both ear lobes for the chance to participate in the horizontal hula with Jenny.
But sad to say if she were to get a hold of Tim, who is an admitted virgin, the young man could possibly become so traumatized that he would not ever be able to pronounce his last name much less throw passes and run like a Pro Bowl fullback.
Now if it was Mark Sanchez, Aaron Rodgers, or even Brett Favre then yes, it would certainly be a matter of "Merry Christmas guys!" [CHEST BUMPS ALL AROUND!] but not Tim Tebow, not the young man who is saving himself for the right girl.
And the right girl will be a nice, feminine, classy, young lady between the ages of 21 and 24, who unlike jiggly Jenny, hasn't been passed around more times than a lumberjack camp salt shaker.
A friendly reminder that February 16, is National Pamper Your Pet Day except in Hollywood where it's that every single day of the year.