BROOKLYN - Madonna was relaxing in her apartment trying to get over the tremendous sore throat that she said she had gotten the day before her Super Bowl performance.
The 53-year-old singer was being waited on hand and foot by her 24-year-old boy toy Brahim Zaibat [Pronounced: BA-BY ZY-GOTE].
Madonna has been widely criticized for having lip synced her entire halftime performance. And the former "Material Girl" who now is more like the "Material Granny" actually admits to doing it.
The popular singer had personally invited Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors to her apartment so that she could give her the scoop. She talked about the reason why she had resorted to the same performance tool that got Britney Spears thrown out of Australia two years ago.
Vermicelli was told by Madonna that contrary to what many members of the entertainment media thought, she did not lip sync due to her sore throat. Madonna smiled as she was hand-fed some Concord grapes by her "BT" (Boy-Toy) as Elton John and his husband David Furnish call him.
Madonna raised up her hand in front of Zaibat's face and told him to stop feeding her the grapes so that she could catch her breath. She then told him that she wanted for him to go into the kitchen and make her a salami and cheese sandwich with some Cheetos on the side.
"BT" did as he was told. The poor young boy looked like some kind of zombie Stepford husband the way he instantly responded to Madonna's demand.
Madonna then confessed to Miss V that the real reason why she decided to lip sync her entire performance was because ever since she hit the big 5-Oh (50), it has gotten harder and harder for her to jump around and sing on stage like Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, and all of the other young modern day singers do.
She then expressed that truth be told the main reason she did not sing live was because she was terrified at the fact that over 1.2 billion people world-wide would be watching her performance and she was afraid that she could possibly forget the words.
Madonna added that the thought of that tremendous 1.2 billion figure made her so nervous that she actually peed in her pants but luckily she was wearing two pantiliners.
And so the truth has come out. And Barbara Walters of The View and Ellen DeGeneres, and even Jay "El Chin-O" Leno can all stop speculating as to why it was that Lady Madonna chose to lip sync her entire Super Bowl halftime performance.
February 13 is National Avoid Stress Day, except in Arizona.