Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 4 February 2012

image for It Looks Like Madonna Has Her Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Lip Syncing Performance Down To A Semi-Science
Madonna who is 53 recently remarked to Ellen DeGeneres that she only looks 51. (Photo by Ann Coulter).

INDIANAPOLIS - The Midwestern town of Indianapolis will be home to Super Bowl XLVI (46) between the Giants of New York and the Patriots of New England or as Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket refers to the two teams, The Apple Guys Vs. The Tea Dudes.

The game will feature a matchup between two of the NFL's most popular quarterbacks, Tom Brady of the Patriots, who is married to Brazilian super model Gisele Bundchen and Eli Manning of the Giants, who is the younger brother of the soon-to-be-retired Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.

Eli and Peyton's father, Archie was also an NFL quarterback and one of Mrs. Archie Manning's sisters, Fessie Jo Yabbanello was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader back in 1977.

So all of the Manning family has been pretty much involved in the world of football with the one exception of a distant cousin Pemberton "Giddy Up" Rannyroo, who lives in Bowling Green, Kentucky and who is into Shetland pony racing.

Mr. Brisket actually got to interview Madonna, who will be performing during the halftime. He asked her if she was nervous. She reminded him that she was Madonna and not that sissified Elton John.

She pointed out that she is ready and that she has the Super Bowl halftime lip-syncing performance down to a semi-science.

Brisket asked her about her ongoing feud with the man who wrote such hits as "Rocket Man," "Candle In The Wind," "Benny And The Jets," and "Layla Puts A Lip Lock On The Tiny Dancer."

Madonna made a face and replied that she has never known anyone like Elton and his husband David (Furnish) who constantly go around flaunting their same-sex marriage in everyone's face.

When Madonna was told that Elton had said that (she) was an even worse lip syncer than Britney Spears the "Material Woman" (sic) became so extremely offended that she had to spit in a red Dixie cup.

She then remarked that Elton and David look like a couple of fairy leftovers from a Merv Griffin Home Edition Game Show Pajama Party.

She laughed and said that Elton wears so much makeup that the Maybelline Cosmetic factory in London has given him his very own parking space.

Brisket asked Madonna what the secret to lip syncing was. The 53-year-old singer rolled her eyes and replied, "It is all about keeping the microphone in front of your mouth so that just in case your mouth and the lyrics are not in unison it won't be noticed by the audience at home."

She went on to say that she like Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson who are two other noted lip syncers likes to employ the use of a smoke machine to completely cover the face thus totally blocking out her mouth.

Madonna was asked which team she is rooting for. She shot Brisket a look and said, "Dude, fella, I'm from New York City, so who da ya teenk data I'm agonna be yellin' for huh?"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Madonna has reportedly told Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors that she will not be wearing any underwear to avoid the embarrassing possibility of there being a wardrobe malfunction.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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