Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 31 January 2012

image for Bacon & Sedgwick Doomed, Kyra Sports Fresh Tattoo
I Love You Kevin Bacon

The relationship kiss of death was spotted on the red carpet in Hollywood this week, as Kyra Sedgewick displayed a fresh Kevin Bacon tribute tattoo before entering the 2012 SAG awards.

Following in the footsteps of other Hollywood couples who seemed hell bent on showing their devotion to a partner through ink, the Bacon/Sedgwick duo was an exception to the Hollywood rule while their relationship has lasted more than 20 years. "But the ink is bad juju", says Los Angeles tattoo artist, Tommy "Needles" McGraw. "I always advise against it, or at least make the design one that is easily covered up later'.

Reportedly taking advice from her personal assistant, Sedgewick decided to show her devotion to the six degrees of separation man by following examples from other couples. "It was a romantic thing", says assistant, Shirley Ughestt. "Great couples like Heather Locklear and Ritchie Sambora, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen, Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton, Sandy Bullock and Jesse James all did it. It's pure love!", says Ughestt.

"They all come into the shop saying the same thing", says McGraw. "The one who seems to be feeling the most guilty is always the one willing to show their devotion through ink. I just wish she had picked something a little more feminine to show her love for Bacon. A pig inside a red heart? Man that's just wrong".

There is no word yet on the seventh degree of separation from Kevin Bacon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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