Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: david bowie

Saturday, 28 January 2012

image for David Bowie To Record New Album In Giant Glass Spider - On Mars!
"Planet Earth Is Blue - And There's Fuck All I Can Do..."

Back in the 1970s, androgynous glam-rock star David Bowie posed the intriguing question: "Is There Life On Mars?"

It seems that if there isn't, after all, there soon will be, as Bowie plans to fly to Mars in a giant glass spider, equipped with a fully functional recording studio, along with the Spiders From Mars - who didn't really come from Mars at all, but were solidly rooted in the leafy London suburb of Chiswick.

It is broadly understood that the giant glass spider will be piggy-backed into space on the spine of a rocket, designed by Welshman, Ivor Merino, in association with Lord Richie Branston-Picklejar, who owns a train, and a big rowing boat.

"I'm really excited about this project," a relaxed David Bowie told reporters, in the lobby of the Paris Hilton. "It's my understanding that the giant glass spider will be designed by Stephen King and HR Geiger out of the Alien films, with interior design by Linda Barker - that willowy blonde Northern bird who isn't on the telly as often as she used to be. Of course, we're only at the design stage yet, but we expect to blast off from Pontypridd sometime next April."

The rocket will apparently to be piloted by Major Tom, from Todmorden, who doesn't seem at all enthusiastic about the project.

"I expect I'll go for a space walk or summat," he said glumly. "Wi' a pair o' pliers and a big spanner, to do a repair job like. And then I expect summat'll go wrong and I'll go floatin' off into that vast empty void wi' me knackers in me hand, while Ground Control keep askin' if I can 'ear 'em o'er't radio. It's gonna be a birrov a bugger of a mission is this, Ah'll tell thee."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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