HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight series, has just received what he is calling one of the best offers he has ever had.
Pattinson said that out of the blue he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. She asked him how his brand new Samoyed puppy Icicles was doing.
Rob replied that the two-month-old puppy, which had been given to him by Vice-President Joe Biden, was doing great. He told Kim that he had already trained Icicles to fetch a rubber stick, to sit, to bark on key, and to take his paw and to tap out the first six notes of the Christmas song "Jingle Bells."
Ms. Kardashian was impressed and said that she recalls it taking her the better part of a year just to teach her pet parrot Madam Polly how to say hello.
She laughed as she told him that for the longest time Madam Polly would only say hell leaving out the o.
She said that finally with the help of her brother Rob of Dancing With The Stars fame, her mother Kris, and Luke Walton of the Los Angeles Lakers she was finally able to get her to say the whole word hello.
Kim then changed the subject and she came right out and asked Rob if he would like to accompany her down to Cabo San Lucas for a weekend stay at The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino.
She said that she needed to just get away from the hamster race that is LaLaLand.
RPattz quickly said that he would love to go with her down to sunny old Mexico Land of Ole's, Salma Hayek piñatas, and hundreds and hundreds of tequila factories.
Kim told him that she would get back to him with the details. She said that at first she was going to book a cruise on The Pacific Sea Nymph but after the Costa Concordia sank off the coast of Switzerland after it hit that iceberg she decided to fly instead.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Of course everyone knows that the Costa Concordia sank after hitting a huge rock off the coast of Italy and not an iceberg off the coast of Switzerland. It definitely appears that Kim's sense of geography is just about as bad as Sarah "Moose Hormones" Palin's].